the shift..change and support...Madam E and the new club :) and the crazy egyptian :)

so i was shifted to the branch where I was scared because I heard that Madam E was scary as hell..

turns out, she wasn't so bad-as long as you were willing to learn from her, she was one of the best. I actually learned alot from her about myself more than anything else..

it was difficult to shift to the new place..but I had to adjust..it was over night..literally..pack your bags you're going to the other branch.

it was a different system altogether, and don't forget I was more scared of madam E then I was of Vic..but that's only because of everything I had heard. they made her sound like the vampire from Transylvania.

We had alot in common..especially when it came to family love-and if its the one person who came through for me in the branch when I needed it the most it was her. my dad's ill health took a turn for worse in may- I had only been in doha a few months but i had to go home..i was distraught and in despair..i didn't know what to do..the way she handled the situation and arranged for me to come back home the very night.

this is when i made another real friend Yousra :)  aaaahhh this crazy egyptian-she made my tears go at every instance that they came out. She was my support system away from the gym regarding so many things in my life. I only wish I had more time with her..night time beach drives, crazy futoor nights at the souq, trying to teach me arabic, telling me I was supposed to be born an arab..She taught me the secret to life :) the secret to survival in the arab world :)

Like i mentioned in the previous blog, there was the other one-basically what I felt was happening was being caused by the other one..when I came from home for 5 days, my head was filled with all the not right things and so , I was feeling hostile towards madam E. my dad was still not doing well, but all in all, it was all the politics caused in my head that caused me to erupt-not the best of things to happen..

there comes a point in time where people clash due to issues caused by other people for no apparent reason and unfortunately, this happened to  me..I was still quite naive to the world-like i said before, i usually just live in my own world, after this incident is when I realised I needed to open my ears, eyes and all five senses linked for me to survive in this man eats man world.

the outburst, was very stupid and not at all like me..but human is to error and this time I made a very big boo boo.

Madam E if you are reading this blog, till today I am very apologetic about that day. I know I apologised before and till today I will apologise :)

so anyway, it reached a point where I realised that Mrs t was causing alot of drama through the other one and madam E was very much in the clear because it became evident that Mrs T was playing 2 sides. she was good at causing chaos between 2 people and this is what she was doing all over. I wonder how people survive knowing that they are causing other people hurt and damage.

By this time, waseem and I weren't talking so I felt like I had lost a big chunk of my life. don't get me wrong, i always had marcie and till today i'm grateful to have her in my life :)

about myself, I learned how to focus on work, to better myself, to control my temper, to deal with issues, how to solve problems rather than talk about them. and all this i learned from madam E. she was a big turning point in my life. she was the point at which I realised that life happens and you gotta make the most and the best of the situation. Till today I don't know whether we really were friends, but I know at times she was there for me and I would have been there for her if she needed, I would have liked to get to know her more than just a manager but unfortunately that never happened.

back to mr bum..it's a few weeks after I moved to the new branch when push came to shove and i told the bum where to put his finger up :) :) i'm trying to be polite here...those of you that know me, know that when I am angry I look and sound like a tigress who's cubs are been attacked but instead of a nice brown I turn a lovely shade of red :) i think we can call it jazzy red :D :D maybe we should put in the color chart.i think i will talk to the paint people :D I was tired of the cheating and the lies and the drama..I was ready to change and all of a sudden he was ready to marry me...ofcourse I said no..what a twat :/

all this while I was still exercising, feeling the best I was coz Mrs T wasn't in this branch much..suddenly losing weight became alot more fun. the members were encouraging me...I felt that we were relating to each other..and then there was the rule that when they entered the gym they had to smile and laugh...

i mean why create time for yourself if you aren't gonna feel happy about being there or thinking about sad things..sooo madam E nicknamed me Jazeera and the huggs-this was because I was always hugging people...you do know that huggs transfer happy feeling?? .so when you hugg someone even if they feeling sad, they automatically become happy :) atleast that's my thinking and it worked most times :)

during this period I also went to the 3rd branch and there I met the 3rd manager. Oh my she was the most different of them all..so calm, collected and didn't react to anything. I was like how I wanna be like that..it obviously took time and i'm still yet to perfect this skill but i think and feel that it is a skill that every woman needs-because it helps when you need time to digest information and think with a logic mind :) I use this skill till today in my every day life.

then Madam E went on vacation...it was ramadhan, the best time to work in doha :) or was it.....

Qatar..the 1st 3 months...marcie, yavanna and the other one :p

oooofff what can i can say...the 1st week I was ready to cry...actually, scrap that i was crying...every single day...I felt like I made the biggest mistake of my life..

and it was all thanx to 2 major people...one was Mr Bum and the 2nd lets call her Mrs T.

so yeah i was over weight when I landed, I already told you Vic's reaction to me..actually, I would think all the trainer's except Marcie were like how can you be a trainer..you don't look like one...hmmmm..

Now, I was still reeling from shock as to how my lovely father agreed for me to go to another continent, when it was a total no no for a 45 min flight to Znz..he literally chased me outta the house when i said i got the job in doha..it was as if he was getting me married in a rush :p to some one who would handle me better than he ever would..boy did my old man know what he was doing...only at that time I didn't know it..

you see my dad worked in abu dhabi for a few years when he was a bachelor..so he knew exactly what I was getting myself into..but I guess he wanted me to learn for myself, since i'm the natural temperamental child who thinks she's daddy's apple of the eye and can get away with anything especially tantrums.well I have my good side too, but I like the spoilt version of me better *princess diaries* loooool...

soooo i move to doha about 9 days before my 27th birthday. and the first weekend out, we had a blast..it was 4 of us girls..juniors all of us..Marcie and Yavanna were older than I was at the job and the other one was well one day older than me..and we go to dinner to the souq. aaahhh the souq-my most favorite place ever and we go to a moroccan restaurant-they had the best bread ever...oh myyyy..the taste buds are missing that bread and watering at the thought of it...

then comes woof woof..at least that's what we called him-he was someone I had met over one of these sites coz i didn't know Waseem was in doha still.

He just pitched up and decided that he was gonna join us :/ have you ever had a random man sitting in on a bunch of girls just releasing out the frustrations of work??? that was the 1st time I experienced either of those feelings..at one point I felt bad for him, but then again, I didn't invite him-he just pitched to where we were...

and a lady never says no to a free meal-yes in his trying to impress me, he paid for our dinner without eating any of it-i'm not complaining and that was my 2nd welcome to the arab world-THE WOMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE SPOILT and not spoil the man :p :p although I must say, I like to balance it - more on that when we get to 2014 :p :p :p

I was working in an all women's gym..awkward coz clearly i'm not used to having so much estrogen around me at one time..then comes Mrs T and her stories :p

When I had the interview with her over skype I envisioned a tall, robust, bubbly, straight forward woman who had a personality to match the apparent voice...boy was i wrong..Vic was the tall pretty one who showed me presence-Mrs T was a small scrawny midget who felt that her voice and fake accent would make up for her lack of personality..oh yeah and her moustache was like uuhhhmmm...and the oil in her hair :/

okay i'm not being racist, but really, she was about 23 i think-i was a whole 5 years older than her or something like that..and she was engaged to be married...if its one thing I know a woman should do is atleast take of the moustache from atleast the age of 16..especially if its the color of the hair on your head ie black..and she is of my race..so i'm allowed to comment :)

so the first thing she says to me was you need to lose 20kg..you're gonna be the next success story :/ i'm like okay..little did I know that this was only the beginning of a competition that I didn't even know existed till it was over.

clearly I live in my own world. so this gym has 3 branches. and I was in the oldest one :) Mrs T didn't let me train any one for almost 6 weeks-what did I care I was getting paid, but it reaches a point where, things just stop making sense and practicality needs to come into place. Hence Vic decided its time for her to take over coz Mrs T was clearly Cuckoo and I will tell you why this competition started-BECAUSE I CALLED HER BOSS AND TOLD THEM THAT I DIDN'T GET A CALL BACK AND SO SHE LOOKED BAD...lol.

Have you ever had a manager from hell?? this was her..when  she walked into the branch every one became tense and stopped talking to each other..clearly, there was an issue I just didn't know it till she saw me flourish at this club. So she shifted me to the branch that had the worst retention rate of staff :s with the great madam E as manager but this was after the 1st 3 months.

upto now, she was stressing me to lose weight majorly, i was stepping on the scale weekly..working out like crazy...but has any one ever heard of losing weight healhy?? clearly she hadn't..she wanted 4 KG DOWN A WEEK..now can you imagine, I have a medical background and i'm like that's not normal..she's like you have to..don't forget you're on probation..(Please send me home, i'm already fed up of you're fake Indian British accent)

So i'm starting to think, since when did it become a crime to be a little bit over weight?? Size 12 is not fat..it's an average size woman. actually its every other woman on the street...okay so I wasn't actually a size 12..maybe a 16 but still that's not a crime..I was buying clothes from the curvy section of the shop and not the stick section-that's not a bad thing.. the last time I heard, real men like a bit of meat on the meat on the bones ;)

so here I am struggling to lose the weight, in tears everyday and my birthday rolls in :)

I will never forget that birthday. Thank you waseem and marcie for that :) it was on a tuesday, we went out partying the whole night-we had work in the morning, dancing bhangra at 3 am in the car..hung over the next morning..but it was the awesomest birthday away from home i've had so far :)

Mr Bum on the other hand, didn't know what was happening to me.. Suddenly from an introvert I started telling him where to get off.he wanted me to cry on my birthday-I DON'T THINK SO..and that is when Jazeera started growing balls again :p :p I started believing in myself. I started knowing my worth even though my sufuria hair cut was still existant. i could have worn a toupee and been passed for a french hobo or something-wait do they have hobos in france??

then comes the one day that's apparently Valentines day...oh my that was quite funny-so all of a sudden mr bum decides that he is really missing me and well waseem and him were also friends from before-he tell's another woman's husband ie bum tell waseem to buy flowers :/ waseem and i had a laugh about that coz clearly, it wasn't happening.

and marcie's birthday-there was a woman in a red dress-i don't remember much from that night except I made a mistake ( I won't air it in public) that cost me a friend for a whole year and some..somethings are just meant to stay with a person you know :p :p :p i can't tell you everything now can I? ;)

then there was the zumba class that we all had to attend on a friday morning. Now you must know, friday morning in the arab world is like sunday morning everywhere else..but noooo we had to go for zumba..okay i'm not against zumba-infact I LOVE ZUMBA...but not on my only day off so early in the morning..heheheehe..we made up for it with burger king and 100 pieces of dunkin donuts  :p :p

and don't forget i'm supposed to be losing a supposed 4 kgs a week.

I got used to living the life of a workaholic, getting used to the members at the club, they started loving the way i coach and then BOOM..I got shifted...and all this because yavanna left, they needed more staff at the other branch and to make my life more difficult :( that was one of my first sad moments in doha :(

the 3rd Interview...my entry into Qatar

1ST January 2013-i get an email for the 3rd final interview...i'm still in the bush mind you and the interview was for that night..

need to rush and get back to nairobi in time for the interview..and the 1st thing that goes on in my head is WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE WORKING ON THE 1ST JANUARY...my first welcome into the whirlwind world of the Arabs :)

Clearly I got the job..remember Mr Bum-he had no idea :p :p I told him the day before I was leaving :D :D that's on the 24th of jan..no one else knew except people who were very close to me...it's like i did a magic trick :p maybe I should add that to my CV..YOU THINK IT WOULD WORK?? Jazeera the physiotherapist/magician...loooool

So Mr Bum and I are doing the whole long distance thing..and I'm off to Doha..my 1st welcome there was with a friend of mine :) Waseem-we had been friends for a long while since high school..it was nice to have some one i knew there-his reaction to me was WTF HAPPENED TO YOU?? you must know i was wearing baggy clothes and had a haircut as if I had put a sufuria on my head and just chopped my  hair any how no shape or style and I WAS FAT..then the PRO Emad-oh myyyy...no English..more like English shway shway (little little)...and that is when i learnt that my very good english would not work in doha...

The first real friend I made in Doha, Marica :) oh my she had my back no matter what from helping me lift my suitcase up those crazy stairs, to helping me get myself confidence back, to helping me lose the weight, to making me feel like I could achieve anything in this world. I was a physiotherapist, working in a gym learning new things and teaching what I knew :) we were like 2 bum cheeks that didn't want to be separated.

then the 1st morning-I met Vic...the horror was plain on her face as she looked me up and down, she was probably thinking how did this child land this job..till today I don't know what was running through her head..if only i had the power to read minds..hahahahahaa.. I was crazy scared of her, ..she became my mentor eventually and helped me through alot of stuff going on in that place..she also helped me get my confidence back...I love this woman to bits today :)

and that was just the beginning..stay tuned for more ;)

OMG IT HAS BEEN A WHILE :) the rest of 2012 and how i got to 2013

sooooo apparently the last time I blogged was august 2012...

ohhh my so much has happened since then :) things are abit hazy but lets see how well i can remember :)

2013 was clearly the year for me...

yours truly went to Qatar, Doha...

but before i go there...In November 2012, i had an epiphany :p it was that I was with a jerk of a boyfriend-yeah we all go through those phases init :P soooo he was a total arse..two kids (not mine) but i accepted it :) turns out he decided that his ex wife, ex gf, my best friend and any other person who had a vagina was on his to do list..didn't matter what they looked like...welllll let's just say my inspiration to go to Qatar was justified the day he decided to turn things on me..apparently he was only with me because I wanted him to be with me...wtttfff right...so I kept quiet and did what I had to do...I needed time for myself and I was gonna get it...

Clearly being around people I knew since I was a child, wasn't good enough for me..I started applying for jobs OUTSIDE OF KENYA.

November 28th..i had my 1st interview :D :D :D which i may add I TOTALLY BUGGERED UP...rotflmao...i told the lady on the other side of the skype call that one of my weaknesses was that I CAN BE ABIT LAZY.....who in this world can sabotage the one job they want???? MEEEEEEE

okay so she says she will contact me in 2 weeks to let me know whether i got the job or not...clearly I was like yeah right she is never gonna call me...but I had the number from the initial call..

btw i might add I was still with the boy..i don't understand us women really...why is it, we always go for the bums of the world huh??? it's like we have no other thing to do but get men who treat us like door mats then we cry about it...but i'm glad to say, i told him where to get off eventually..it took me a long while..that's a story for another day :p

2 weeks later I still hadn't heard from the lady..of course I wouldn't have, but well I decided to change my luck...I called them :p and they scheduled my 2nd interview...unfortunately for me, she skyped me when I was sitting on the pot (I say thank God for smart phones being invented) - buutt have you ever tried to fart on the low though a job interview...maaaan I would have to say, that was the HARDEST INTERVIEW I have ever had to sit through :p :p but it seems like I THINK BETTER ON THE POT coz a few weeks later i was called for a 3rd and final interview.

But before the 3rd and final interview was christmas break..I was supposed to go to zanzibar without my bf..actually I had got another job there..but my dad the great had said no...You do remember my indian dad from the previous blogs..the one who knows everything-my dad actually reminds me of russel peter's dad when Russel talks...SOMEBADY GONNA GET HURTTTT...hope my dad doesn't read this :p :p He wasn't happy about me going to Zanzibar soooo it was his way or the high way..clearly I was bummed...beach job *sigh*..oh well there it goes coz papa said no...

back to the fact that I was going without the bum..sooo he had made plans to go without me on holiday-i'm totally fine with that idea...what annoyed me was that IT WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL :/ :/ anyway christmas break I went to the bush with my brother and his gf and one of their friends..it was good fun...at this point I was almost 80kg hating myself, my self confidence totally shattered. I needed out...desperately.

New years night-bum the great was with his ex wife instead of me :/ :/ he had in his head this idea that since I didn't go to Zanzibar, there is no way in hell my dad would let me go to Qatar. Honestly, I was also worried about this...would my father let me go to across the seas to a whole new world, a different continent.....hmmmm..would I pass the 3rd interview...when is the 3rd interview...

yogas, zumbas and now boxingggg

soooo this year has been full of ups and downs and sideways..and no im not talking about any positions-get your mind out of where it is right now :p :p

iv managed to open my clinic, go back to uni and best of all, made awesome new friends...soooo now one of these new friends asked me to join her at an ungodly hour to go do kick boxing...yes, me to wake up at 5:30 am to go box things in the middle of kenyan winter which is freezing my ass at 9 am...

clearly i said YES...who knows, maybe i'll find a new way to release all this excessive energy i got right??

i  mean i tried yoga-it got boring after a while..more like a week and i was thinking, omggg ivta wake up for that..naaaahhh my bed feels more cosy....then i tried the zumba-i think i rather dance my own steps as opposed to some skinny babe making me feel that she looks hotter than me doing a move..plus i can wiggle my bum better than she can, coz i got a bum and she doesn't...hahahaha..ok thats just the jealous little girl in me tryna give myself morale..but hell it worked :D :D :D

sooo back to my boxing, tuesday is the 1st day, and i think i am more scared than excited..i mean-errmmmm boxing and kicking stuff early in the morning b4 people even wake up??? is that even legal???

but u apparently see results within 4 sessions...that means in 2 weeks i get to box twice a week early in the morning without getting penalized...i think im liking this idea already....hmmmmmm...nooooo am not violent..just a little bit ENERGETIC and i dunno where to put all this awesomeness (yeah i've been watching too much of how i met your mother)

plus the trainer is apparently militant...hahahahahaha..this is gonna be one helluva interesting ride..

let u know how the 1st one went...and no i will not tell u, if i cried like a baby....lmaooooo

whatsapp, hurting hands and cardboard box eaters :)

sooooo i havent written in ageeeessss....hehehe..but well i have been quite busy breaking up, graduating, starting new courses, meeting new people and worst of all....getting addicted to my cell phone..lool..as if i wasnt addicted enough before already...now am like on it constantly...and honestly...i have NO PEACE OF MIND...every other second, my fone keeps beeeeppppiiinnngggg and even when i put it on silent, there is this funny light that comes on..it's like a bloody discotheque in my room at nyt...not that am complaining though..it helps me keep in touch with the whole world for almost next to nothing....yes i am a cheapo and proud of it :p

sooo i have a nokia, that was already dying as it is...and i hadta buy a new battery...i kinda got tired of roaming around with a charger, especially since I live in Kenya power sockets aren't very readily available and neither is power itself...lool...and then i spent 2 good weeks with ppl who were always on BBM..known as black berry messaging..NO I DIDN'T BUY A BB...i'm not that crazy..and I LOVE MY SLEEP..i have noticed that the bb friends i got DO NOT SLEEP...

so i downloaded this application called whatsapp...on my already dying nokia...ohhh mannnn...it was crazy...i actually hadta go and buy me a new battery and a car charger just incase the new battery died...soooo back to whatsapp....it's awesome..helps me keep in touch with the new bf, new friends, old friends, make new friends toooo...but now i have to give myself a hand massage every day and am paranoid about getting carpal tunnel syndrome at the mere age of 25....and my phone is CONSTANTLY ON CHARGE....and i aint the only one complaining...the card board box eater is also complaining...hehehe..no she doesnt really eat card board but she eat something similar to it called weetabix...no offense to the makers of weetabix but gosh, i have never been able to eat that cereal..gimme rice crispies and fruit loops any day :) snap cwaakklleee and ppooooop....*not poop but pop... :D :D :D

and now she tells me to have weetabix pizza...really woman..sheesssshhh..

back to the writing...soooo i feel like the muscles of my right hand are over developed and i think its soon gonna look like a gorilla's honestly...even my nails have started to break...yeeesss i was tryna grow my naillssss...big help the cell phone was....noooott.....

and now am actually getting tempted to buy a Bb...oh my....i think am losing the plot honestly...so i made like a list of pro's and con's...

pro's..i can access my email any where at any time...uhhmmm...i can access my fb any where....uhmmmm

con's..i can be reached any where on any media, switching the fone off is out of the question coz switching it back on eats like half the battery, the Bb ear fones are cleverer than my nokia...i swear-i plugged my bro's bb ear fones into my fone and it went crazy...it was like talking to me every 5 seconds....i couldn't listen to music peacefully...i will have a worse discotheque in my bedroom..i wont have peace of mind...

hmmmm soooo i reckon my  nokia is the best...i can always kill the batt :D by over chatting, switch it off and not be online all the time-not that that is happening right now but i suppose if i care about my right gorilla hand, i'm gonna stop this whatsapp nonsense... but then again, that heavy built hand would be totally awesome to beat up ppl with...no am not violent but u never know when u gonna need it..i would've needed it like 3 days ago when at 3 am, i had unwanted and uninvited guests at the house, tryna open my room door...and all i could think off was...have i locked my door?? then i'm thinking...can they come thru my window....bloody helllll....i think we need to create employment for these ppl, even if we havta pay them to climb trees we should, i mean they, scaled up the wall to second floor...no wonder kenynas are knows for their acrobatics....hahahahahaha..we have them in every corner, tryna steal something or the other...but kweli, those were some dumb ones...they wanna steal the heaviest thing of the lot that has the lowest value..seriiioouussslllyyy....there was a computer and a fish tank and God knows what else....and u pick the commercial toaster that u hadta leave on the ledge coz it was tooooo heavy to carry....hahahahahahhahahaha...eeedddddeeeeooooottttt...thats what u get for locking my doggy in the pasi room and scaring me half to death at 3 am...sccchhhuuuppppiiiiddddd...

Religion..Oh Dear God ;)

Disclaimer : these are my views..they are not meant to be offensive in any nature to any one...it is my perspective of the world and communities mentioned here and i am using the right of freedom of speech in my country to write this. if you are a fanatic muslim, please do not read this. I am not trying to cause war, neither am i trying to cause hate speech...it is my perception and i am allowed to write my views..

sooo if you're my really close friend, you know what my sentiments on religion are...it's a whole load of CRAP...

please don't get me wrong...i Believe in God, and i believe in the prophets and his word...but I also believe that man, in his own selfish way, concocted his own version of what, wher, how and who God is and expected every one to follow it and hence put boundaries...

since i was a child, i have asked questions, to the point that even my folks got mad at me..and i was only 14...so u can imagine my quest for God...

and now i'm 25, and i think i finally got my answer...so to all the muslim ppl who think I am not muslim-thank you. had it been a week ago i would have probably told you, Fuck you..but i have realised that I have found my God.I have found my oneness with him..and it didn't come from praying 5 times a day, fasting every tuesday and thursday, fasting in the month of ramadhan, giving to every poor person i see on the road...heck half of them are richer than i am...and i didn't find Him, by judging other people and calling them Kafir and non believers...sheesh...how do i know my religion is right and theirs is wrong???

i went to a catholic school, and i think that is where my Quest for God started..i wanted to know, why we were all different. why some people believe Jesus is the Son of God and others a Prophet of God...and why we do not have the same mode of prayer...if i look at it now...we have pretty much the same mode of prayer...just different words...we all stand, sit, kneel, prostrate...its like an aerobics class...

and any way, how many of those people actually know why they're standing, sitting, kneeling and prostrating??? how many people actually know what they're saying when they pray?? how many people actually pray without being obliged...as in you live in my house, and so u have to pray 5 times a day, u have to go to church on sunday etc..or its friday so i have to go to the mosque...i mean seriously...do u even go to pray, or u go for the food that they serve after???

ok am not hating on muslims,  but i only know of them and their cultures..am sure chistians, hindus, jews, bhuddists have their own versions as well...

so back to my philosophy on finding God and how i found Him and am happy..

the whole world population is 6,775,235,700 ( i clearly googled that). that means that there are those many people out their with their own verison of what religion and who God is..people are like finger prints..each one is different..so according to wikipedia, the no 1 followed religion is christianity, followed by islam, hinduism, budhism, folk religions, chinese folks religions, shinto, sikhism, judaism, jainism, bahai faith, cao dai, cheondoism, tennrikyo, wica, church of wold messiantity, seicho-no-le, rastafari movement, and unitarian universalism. heck i can't even pronounce half these things but i am guanteeing that not any 2 people, of either of these divisions have the same idea of what they believe in...

so that brings me back to my religion, my faith...Islam...I know am probably gonna lose alot of friends because of this but am tired of being labelled non believer just because i am a follower of the Aga Khan...Get this right-we don't believe he is God, we believe he is the messenger of God...and i don't need to prove anything to any one...but it's part of my story,..no we do not lay our hair down on the ground for him to walk on and no we do not do any of the other crazy things that you believe we do...Ismaili's believe that there is the Din and Duniya..which is the spiritual world and the physical world respectively and that there is a balance between the 2 and it is upto you as an individual to find your balance..

so come's my question..what makes people out there say that we are not muslims??? the fact that we pray differently, dress differently, speak differently and follow an Imam of the time...why not prejudice the bohora's or ithnashris and why discriminate against those from your own because they feel differently??? just a question :)

why is it that when a person is different, they are discriminated against...alot of "real muslims" that i have talked to wear blinkers...no offense...we all say the shahada where we proclaim that Allah is the only God and that Muhammad is his messenger. we all have our Imams...in our respective mosques...so why is it that Muslims are able to call other Muslims non believers..

an imam is one who guides you...in the present living situation..so for a man to come up to me and say that ismaili's are a sect that came about to break and destory Islam, my friend you have it all wrong...

and now my quest for God has stopped because I have found him...

and here is how...

we all say that we have to help, we have to accept people, we have to love people, we have to pray, we have to respect etc etc etc...

and it is, i am sure in all the religious books that we read...Human's are but vessels in which God uses to transport his word...and God has not specified in any book, how we are to find him...if people needed guidance all those many years ago on religion, why do we in the 21st century not need it???? what makes us so special??? sheeeessshhh kabab...infact i think we need it more now then they needed it that time coz there are so many more satanic paths now...

when we read something, we all get a different perception of the same thing that we read..and that is where religion has stemmed from...

the fact that man wanted answers and all of them differed..and so they all came up with their own ideas...yes as muslims we have hadiths and sunnahs, but sunnah is not a must...it is a preferred..we are  but human...so dear muslim brother and sister, DON'T JUDGE ME FOR YOU KNOW NOT WHAT AND WHERE I HAVE BEEN AND MY ACTIONS :)

that is how i found my God...

i learnt that we say are muslim and that we follow the prophet..but do we really??
the Qu'ran says, to accept a person for who they are-and yet as muslims we have hate speech between each other...about how one is better than the other and how one cannot be seen in the vicinity of another..we do not even have the same date to start the month of ramadhan for crying out loud..atleast the christian's have the same christmas and the same easter and the jews have the same hanukkah...so before we start pointing out other's flaws, let us look at ourselves as individuals and communities...

and not to judge...yet we are the first one's who critisize and condemn people when some one does something or they come from a different back ground from us..

we categorize fear as respect, when the only one we are supposed to be scared of is God, for he can do to you whatever no human can..why should i be scared of voicing my opinion, to a mere human being and what gives him the right to tell me that i am wrong??

we help only the beggars on the street and woooww, u have done such a lovely thing-dude, that beggar probably drives a mercedes while you're in your little toyota..am not saying they are all that way, but i have seen it happen...what about your neighbour who is sad?? does he not need to smile?? is that not a help?? is that not a biggest blessing rather than giving a man 20bob on the street so that he can buy glue to sniff?? or what about the little girl from your community whose parents cant afford school fees but she sits at home while you judge their family?? or that old lady, who lives alone and needs company even if its just for 10 minutes but you're too busy watching tv or doing whatever it is that you do...or your mother, when she has had a bad day and needs help to cook or clean the house....is that not what help is meant to be??

when we love some one, why can we not love them no matter what?? why do have to only love people who are of the same social standing? or of our same kind?? why can we not love animals the way they love us-why do we have shooting ranges and poaching ranges? why do we create hatred amongst each other and yet the only different thing about us is our culture and color...do u have 4 kidney and me 2?? or do i have 6 heart chambers and u 4???

if i remember correctly, we are all made in the image of God...and because of that, we have to respect the other person as if we see God in them...but how can u see God in some one else if you can't find Go within yourself...

Find the God within you, don't change yourself, change your attitude...don't say how your religion and faith is better than mine, you have no point to prove to me...but a point to prove to yourself...

and when you find your God, you will understand, that what I have written today, is not meant to offend any one but meant to show you, that every one has their interpretation of what religion is and a human, although is not perfect, they are not allowed to be prejudiced against any one nor any thing for every individual is special and a believer HOWEVER IT IS THAT THEY CHOOSE TO BELIEVE...

My Blues

every girl/woman has a dream, that one day her prince charming, the guy/man who makes her feel like there is no problem too big in this world as long as he is by her side to hold her hand while she walk through that part of her life.

today i went to a wedding that was exactly that...PERFECT...Now am not one to attend weddings or social functions for tha matter but today father was going as well-so it was mandatory for me to attend as well..

dressed to impress, i went all smiley and cheery as can be...the venue was splendid..out doors, slight drizzle, tents, candles..reminded me of how it was being in love all over again...

i was ready to weep...i had always thought that one day i would be the beautiful bride, with all my family around me, all just happy...

today i felt what it what like to not be part of something beautiful, because even as i was there, all i could think of was WHAT DID SHE DO RIGHT THAT I DID WRONG??

my heart is weeping, my mind faltering, all i want to do is run into your arms, but then i realise that you're not there any more...you're but a part of my beautiful dream which will probably remain that way for i want not to try again...all i want to do is feel safe with you...knowing that one day, i will be that bride, and every body will be looking at us and saying how perfect we are for each other...

all i want is YOU..

of being muhindi and from another planet apparently

so it all boils down to one thing..being the color of choice...am not really talking of racism here but well maybe I am..in the sense that, why is it that just coz i am an Indian (muhindi) in Kenya, it means that i apparently am rich, spoilt, can't take a mat (that's public transport here in our part of the world), get whatever i want when i want and you only contact me when u need money but it never crosses your mind to give it back...oh yeah and not forgetting that you apparently think i'm, blessed with brains that need no studying :s

so here's the real deal...yeah my dad is a business man and yeah he makes a decent living but my mum, bro and i work as well and that is how we manage to sustain the household...just coz am dropped in the morning and not boarding at school doesn't mean am spoilt-it means that since i live within the vicinity of school (ok not that much due to the road constructions) why should i spent another 30grand sharing a room with 6 other girls and 2 bathrooms that are barely cleaned once a week where as I can comfortably commute from my residence...and I do take public transport on my way back home...my dad didn't buy me a car as most of u would like to assume :s

oh yes and about me getting what i want-oh my how wrong u are...do u know indian fathers??? salale....u get a lecture before u get anything from them about how they came into this country with nothing but the clothes on their back and how they had to struggle thru the british rule and all that jargon...and instead of giving u the 1000bob that u asked for u end up getting 100bob (10 times less) coz of the rising cost of living and all the other jargon that he gives u...u want that cash u gotta earn it else u can saty happily broke...i mean seriously, washing cars was the job on suday to get abit of cash...so i know how hard it is to get money....and am definitely not spoilt coz when it comes to i really like this the 1st question i always get asked is IS IT A WANT OR A NEED...and since it's usually a want...ehhhmmm i never get it unless i have the cash to buy it for myself...this reminds me of a green hat that i really wanted and well he refused to buy it...and when i went the next day it was sold so i went and bought a bad instead-which clearly wasn't a good quality one coz it's lying torn in the back of my cupboard some where coz i have no time to fix it..so clearly my wants are almost always ehhhmmm u know NONSENSICAL and hence i don't get them..i mean where would i wear a greeh hat really??? i don't even own a green top-unless i would've clashed it with my orange top...hmmmmm...

and me being blessed with brains...i wish...i think am the only muhindi not blessed with them apparently...i gotta study my bloody arse off burning the midnight oil and learning my work coz God knows why he didn't give me cramming power like the rest of my comrades...and as for mathematics...forget that was even option..till today i need a calculator-can u imagine when i wan in high school we used log books for calculations and what the hell was all that cos sin tan thingi bob...sheesh..could we not have left it to drawing the circles and triangles only??? and algebra-why the hell do i need to know what x=??? or if x=2 then y=?? seriosly how is it helping me today besides having killed my brain cells when i was younger???

so yeah back to my point...being a muhindi doesn not always mean that am all the mentioned...i work hard, study hard, party hard (atleast i used to) and am human as well...there's no difference between me and any other human being alive on this planet...i got two eyes, one nose, 2 ears, 32 teeth(though i think mine are less coz i got a few removed) and my blood is red just like yours..

oh yeah and don't mess my hair...granted it soft and all but sheesh it took me a while to get it to look that way u know...and then u go and play with it...really now :s

so the next time you see me....ehmmmmm DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE AM FROM ANOTHER PLANET....

somebody be excited for me :)

soooo i've been really busy taking alot of pictures...some good some not so good and some really awesome one's and well i really wanted to share this with some one and since every one around me is so busy, i guess i'll just havta share it with my 12 followers :)

i was at the rally and i think i'm actually perfecting the art of taking good pictures..well i'll only know how good they are once i get them printed but from the negatives-i managed to get flying cars and donkeys and ppl climbing on trees and skidding cars...and well am really excited coz i managed to take pictures that look good on the negative :)

i'm hoping some body out there is as excited for me as i am for myself :)