whatsapp, hurting hands and cardboard box eaters :)

sooooo i havent written in ageeeessss....hehehe..but well i have been quite busy breaking up, graduating, starting new courses, meeting new people and worst of all....getting addicted to my cell phone..lool..as if i wasnt addicted enough before already...now am like on it constantly...and honestly...i have NO PEACE OF MIND...every other second, my fone keeps beeeeppppiiinnngggg and even when i put it on silent, there is this funny light that comes on..it's like a bloody discotheque in my room at nyt...not that am complaining though..it helps me keep in touch with the whole world for almost next to nothing....yes i am a cheapo and proud of it :p

sooo i have a nokia, that was already dying as it is...and i hadta buy a new battery...i kinda got tired of roaming around with a charger, especially since I live in Kenya power sockets aren't very readily available and neither is power itself...lool...and then i spent 2 good weeks with ppl who were always on BBM..known as black berry messaging..NO I DIDN'T BUY A BB...i'm not that crazy..and I LOVE MY SLEEP..i have noticed that the bb friends i got DO NOT SLEEP...

so i downloaded this application called whatsapp...on my already dying nokia...ohhh mannnn...it was crazy...i actually hadta go and buy me a new battery and a car charger just incase the new battery died...soooo back to whatsapp....it's awesome..helps me keep in touch with the new bf, new friends, old friends, make new friends toooo...but now i have to give myself a hand massage every day and am paranoid about getting carpal tunnel syndrome at the mere age of 25....and my phone is CONSTANTLY ON CHARGE....and i aint the only one complaining...the card board box eater is also complaining...hehehe..no she doesnt really eat card board but she eat something similar to it called weetabix...no offense to the makers of weetabix but gosh, i have never been able to eat that cereal..gimme rice crispies and fruit loops any day :) snap cwaakklleee and ppooooop....*not poop but pop... :D :D :D

and now she tells me to have weetabix pizza...really woman..sheesssshhh..

back to the writing...soooo i feel like the muscles of my right hand are over developed and i think its soon gonna look like a gorilla's honestly...even my nails have started to break...yeeesss i was tryna grow my naillssss...big help the cell phone was....noooott.....

and now am actually getting tempted to buy a Bb...oh my....i think am losing the plot honestly...so i made like a list of pro's and con's...

pro's..i can access my email any where at any time...uhhmmm...i can access my fb any where....uhmmmm

con's..i can be reached any where on any media, switching the fone off is out of the question coz switching it back on eats like half the battery, the Bb ear fones are cleverer than my nokia...i swear-i plugged my bro's bb ear fones into my fone and it went crazy...it was like talking to me every 5 seconds....i couldn't listen to music peacefully...i will have a worse discotheque in my bedroom..i wont have peace of mind...

hmmmm soooo i reckon my  nokia is the best...i can always kill the batt :D by over chatting, switch it off and not be online all the time-not that that is happening right now but i suppose if i care about my right gorilla hand, i'm gonna stop this whatsapp nonsense... but then again, that heavy built hand would be totally awesome to beat up ppl with...no am not violent but u never know when u gonna need it..i would've needed it like 3 days ago when at 3 am, i had unwanted and uninvited guests at the house, tryna open my room door...and all i could think off was...have i locked my door?? then i'm thinking...can they come thru my window....bloody helllll....i think we need to create employment for these ppl, even if we havta pay them to climb trees we should, i mean they, scaled up the wall to second floor...no wonder kenynas are knows for their acrobatics....hahahahahaha..we have them in every corner, tryna steal something or the other...but kweli, those were some dumb ones...they wanna steal the heaviest thing of the lot that has the lowest value..seriiioouussslllyyy....there was a computer and a fish tank and God knows what else....and u pick the commercial toaster that u hadta leave on the ledge coz it was tooooo heavy to carry....hahahahahahhahahaha...eeedddddeeeeooooottttt...thats what u get for locking my doggy in the pasi room and scaring me half to death at 3 am...sccchhhuuuppppiiiiddddd...

Religion..Oh Dear God ;)

Disclaimer : these are my views..they are not meant to be offensive in any nature to any one...it is my perspective of the world and communities mentioned here and i am using the right of freedom of speech in my country to write this. if you are a fanatic muslim, please do not read this. I am not trying to cause war, neither am i trying to cause hate speech...it is my perception and i am allowed to write my views..

sooo if you're my really close friend, you know what my sentiments on religion are...it's a whole load of CRAP...

please don't get me wrong...i Believe in God, and i believe in the prophets and his word...but I also believe that man, in his own selfish way, concocted his own version of what, wher, how and who God is and expected every one to follow it and hence put boundaries...

since i was a child, i have asked questions, to the point that even my folks got mad at me..and i was only 14...so u can imagine my quest for God...

and now i'm 25, and i think i finally got my answer...so to all the muslim ppl who think I am not muslim-thank you. had it been a week ago i would have probably told you, Fuck you..but i have realised that I have found my God.I have found my oneness with him..and it didn't come from praying 5 times a day, fasting every tuesday and thursday, fasting in the month of ramadhan, giving to every poor person i see on the road...heck half of them are richer than i am...and i didn't find Him, by judging other people and calling them Kafir and non believers...sheesh...how do i know my religion is right and theirs is wrong???

i went to a catholic school, and i think that is where my Quest for God started..i wanted to know, why we were all different. why some people believe Jesus is the Son of God and others a Prophet of God...and why we do not have the same mode of prayer...if i look at it now...we have pretty much the same mode of prayer...just different words...we all stand, sit, kneel, prostrate...its like an aerobics class...

and any way, how many of those people actually know why they're standing, sitting, kneeling and prostrating??? how many people actually know what they're saying when they pray?? how many people actually pray without being obliged...as in you live in my house, and so u have to pray 5 times a day, u have to go to church on sunday etc..or its friday so i have to go to the mosque...i mean seriously...do u even go to pray, or u go for the food that they serve after???

ok am not hating on muslims,  but i only know of them and their cultures..am sure chistians, hindus, jews, bhuddists have their own versions as well...

so back to my philosophy on finding God and how i found Him and am happy..

the whole world population is 6,775,235,700 ( i clearly googled that). that means that there are those many people out their with their own verison of what religion and who God is..people are like finger prints..each one is different..so according to wikipedia, the no 1 followed religion is christianity, followed by islam, hinduism, budhism, folk religions, chinese folks religions, shinto, sikhism, judaism, jainism, bahai faith, cao dai, cheondoism, tennrikyo, wica, church of wold messiantity, seicho-no-le, rastafari movement, and unitarian universalism. heck i can't even pronounce half these things but i am guanteeing that not any 2 people, of either of these divisions have the same idea of what they believe in...

so that brings me back to my religion, my faith...Islam...I know am probably gonna lose alot of friends because of this but am tired of being labelled non believer just because i am a follower of the Aga Khan...Get this right-we don't believe he is God, we believe he is the messenger of God...and i don't need to prove anything to any one...but it's part of my story,..no we do not lay our hair down on the ground for him to walk on and no we do not do any of the other crazy things that you believe we do...Ismaili's believe that there is the Din and Duniya..which is the spiritual world and the physical world respectively and that there is a balance between the 2 and it is upto you as an individual to find your balance..

so come's my question..what makes people out there say that we are not muslims??? the fact that we pray differently, dress differently, speak differently and follow an Imam of the time...why not prejudice the bohora's or ithnashris and why discriminate against those from your own because they feel differently??? just a question :)

why is it that when a person is different, they are discriminated against...alot of "real muslims" that i have talked to wear blinkers...no offense...we all say the shahada where we proclaim that Allah is the only God and that Muhammad is his messenger. we all have our Imams...in our respective mosques...so why is it that Muslims are able to call other Muslims non believers..

an imam is one who guides you...in the present living situation..so for a man to come up to me and say that ismaili's are a sect that came about to break and destory Islam, my friend you have it all wrong...

and now my quest for God has stopped because I have found him...

and here is how...

we all say that we have to help, we have to accept people, we have to love people, we have to pray, we have to respect etc etc etc...

and it is, i am sure in all the religious books that we read...Human's are but vessels in which God uses to transport his word...and God has not specified in any book, how we are to find him...if people needed guidance all those many years ago on religion, why do we in the 21st century not need it???? what makes us so special??? sheeeessshhh kabab...infact i think we need it more now then they needed it that time coz there are so many more satanic paths now...

when we read something, we all get a different perception of the same thing that we read..and that is where religion has stemmed from...

the fact that man wanted answers and all of them differed..and so they all came up with their own ideas...yes as muslims we have hadiths and sunnahs, but sunnah is not a must...it is a preferred..we are  but human...so dear muslim brother and sister, DON'T JUDGE ME FOR YOU KNOW NOT WHAT AND WHERE I HAVE BEEN AND MY ACTIONS :)

that is how i found my God...

i learnt that we say are muslim and that we follow the prophet..but do we really??
the Qu'ran says, to accept a person for who they are-and yet as muslims we have hate speech between each other...about how one is better than the other and how one cannot be seen in the vicinity of another..we do not even have the same date to start the month of ramadhan for crying out loud..atleast the christian's have the same christmas and the same easter and the jews have the same hanukkah...so before we start pointing out other's flaws, let us look at ourselves as individuals and communities...

and not to judge...yet we are the first one's who critisize and condemn people when some one does something or they come from a different back ground from us..

we categorize fear as respect, when the only one we are supposed to be scared of is God, for he can do to you whatever no human can..why should i be scared of voicing my opinion, to a mere human being and what gives him the right to tell me that i am wrong??

we help only the beggars on the street and woooww, u have done such a lovely thing-dude, that beggar probably drives a mercedes while you're in your little toyota..am not saying they are all that way, but i have seen it happen...what about your neighbour who is sad?? does he not need to smile?? is that not a help?? is that not a biggest blessing rather than giving a man 20bob on the street so that he can buy glue to sniff?? or what about the little girl from your community whose parents cant afford school fees but she sits at home while you judge their family?? or that old lady, who lives alone and needs company even if its just for 10 minutes but you're too busy watching tv or doing whatever it is that you do...or your mother, when she has had a bad day and needs help to cook or clean the house....is that not what help is meant to be??

when we love some one, why can we not love them no matter what?? why do have to only love people who are of the same social standing? or of our same kind?? why can we not love animals the way they love us-why do we have shooting ranges and poaching ranges? why do we create hatred amongst each other and yet the only different thing about us is our culture and color...do u have 4 kidney and me 2?? or do i have 6 heart chambers and u 4???

if i remember correctly, we are all made in the image of God...and because of that, we have to respect the other person as if we see God in them...but how can u see God in some one else if you can't find Go within yourself...

Find the God within you, don't change yourself, change your attitude...don't say how your religion and faith is better than mine, you have no point to prove to me...but a point to prove to yourself...

and when you find your God, you will understand, that what I have written today, is not meant to offend any one but meant to show you, that every one has their interpretation of what religion is and a human, although is not perfect, they are not allowed to be prejudiced against any one nor any thing for every individual is special and a believer HOWEVER IT IS THAT THEY CHOOSE TO BELIEVE...

My Blues

every girl/woman has a dream, that one day her prince charming, the guy/man who makes her feel like there is no problem too big in this world as long as he is by her side to hold her hand while she walk through that part of her life.

today i went to a wedding that was exactly that...PERFECT...Now am not one to attend weddings or social functions for tha matter but today father was going as well-so it was mandatory for me to attend as well..

dressed to impress, i went all smiley and cheery as can be...the venue was splendid..out doors, slight drizzle, tents, candles..reminded me of how it was being in love all over again...

i was ready to weep...i had always thought that one day i would be the beautiful bride, with all my family around me, all just happy...

today i felt what it what like to not be part of something beautiful, because even as i was there, all i could think of was WHAT DID SHE DO RIGHT THAT I DID WRONG??

my heart is weeping, my mind faltering, all i want to do is run into your arms, but then i realise that you're not there any more...you're but a part of my beautiful dream which will probably remain that way for i want not to try again...all i want to do is feel safe with you...knowing that one day, i will be that bride, and every body will be looking at us and saying how perfect we are for each other...

all i want is YOU..

of being muhindi and from another planet apparently

so it all boils down to one thing..being the color of choice...am not really talking of racism here but well maybe I am..in the sense that, why is it that just coz i am an Indian (muhindi) in Kenya, it means that i apparently am rich, spoilt, can't take a mat (that's public transport here in our part of the world), get whatever i want when i want and you only contact me when u need money but it never crosses your mind to give it back...oh yeah and not forgetting that you apparently think i'm, blessed with brains that need no studying :s

so here's the real deal...yeah my dad is a business man and yeah he makes a decent living but my mum, bro and i work as well and that is how we manage to sustain the household...just coz am dropped in the morning and not boarding at school doesn't mean am spoilt-it means that since i live within the vicinity of school (ok not that much due to the road constructions) why should i spent another 30grand sharing a room with 6 other girls and 2 bathrooms that are barely cleaned once a week where as I can comfortably commute from my residence...and I do take public transport on my way back home...my dad didn't buy me a car as most of u would like to assume :s

oh yes and about me getting what i want-oh my how wrong u are...do u know indian fathers??? salale....u get a lecture before u get anything from them about how they came into this country with nothing but the clothes on their back and how they had to struggle thru the british rule and all that jargon...and instead of giving u the 1000bob that u asked for u end up getting 100bob (10 times less) coz of the rising cost of living and all the other jargon that he gives u...u want that cash u gotta earn it else u can saty happily broke...i mean seriously, washing cars was the job on suday to get abit of cash...so i know how hard it is to get money....and am definitely not spoilt coz when it comes to i really like this the 1st question i always get asked is IS IT A WANT OR A NEED...and since it's usually a want...ehhhmmm i never get it unless i have the cash to buy it for myself...this reminds me of a green hat that i really wanted and well he refused to buy it...and when i went the next day it was sold so i went and bought a bad instead-which clearly wasn't a good quality one coz it's lying torn in the back of my cupboard some where coz i have no time to fix it..so clearly my wants are almost always ehhhmmm u know NONSENSICAL and hence i don't get them..i mean where would i wear a greeh hat really??? i don't even own a green top-unless i would've clashed it with my orange top...hmmmmm...

and me being blessed with brains...i wish...i think am the only muhindi not blessed with them apparently...i gotta study my bloody arse off burning the midnight oil and learning my work coz God knows why he didn't give me cramming power like the rest of my comrades...and as for mathematics...forget that was even option..till today i need a calculator-can u imagine when i wan in high school we used log books for calculations and what the hell was all that cos sin tan thingi bob...sheesh..could we not have left it to drawing the circles and triangles only??? and algebra-why the hell do i need to know what x=??? or if x=2 then y=?? seriosly how is it helping me today besides having killed my brain cells when i was younger???

so yeah back to my point...being a muhindi doesn not always mean that am all the mentioned...i work hard, study hard, party hard (atleast i used to) and am human as well...there's no difference between me and any other human being alive on this planet...i got two eyes, one nose, 2 ears, 32 teeth(though i think mine are less coz i got a few removed) and my blood is red just like yours..

oh yeah and don't mess my hair...granted it soft and all but sheesh it took me a while to get it to look that way u know...and then u go and play with it...really now :s

so the next time you see me....ehmmmmm DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE AM FROM ANOTHER PLANET....

somebody be excited for me :)

soooo i've been really busy taking alot of pictures...some good some not so good and some really awesome one's and well i really wanted to share this with some one and since every one around me is so busy, i guess i'll just havta share it with my 12 followers :)

i was at the rally and i think i'm actually perfecting the art of taking good pictures..well i'll only know how good they are once i get them printed but from the negatives-i managed to get flying cars and donkeys and ppl climbing on trees and skidding cars...and well am really excited coz i managed to take pictures that look good on the negative :)

i'm hoping some body out there is as excited for me as i am for myself :)

Photography lesson1...don't be Jazz when using the camera :p

hahahahahhaahaha..ok so as most of you know i'm taking up photography...and well after the whole 4 hour techncality, i took the awesomest pictures i could get....

then my dad came home and well he showed me how to rewind it....only we heard a "tkkk" noise and he had broken the film :(

so camera in hand and heart in mouth i decided to go to the camera shop man coz i wanted those beautiful photos...it would take an agonising one hour to save my pictures...

one hour of roaming in the supermarket, hovering along the corridor of the camera shop....i was really excited-i mean who can blame me-i could be an award winning photgrapher hiding underneath all these layers of clothes ,skin, fat and muscle (i think more fat than muscle but that's why i don't get cold that easily)..tee hee heeeee

and exactly at the hour end i went in all gleaming and glowing..and the camera shop man looked at me and said ARE YOU SURE YOU TOOK PICTURES??? i was like huh???? i must've looked like a small kid whose lollipop got snatched...he then said..u rolled in the film quite well..it wasnt broken at all...so then why didn't the pictures come out??? eeehhhmmmm i later figured out why....COZ WHEN I GOT HOME I WAS SHOWN HOW TO PUT THE FILM-it wasnt my one hour's work at all...I DIDN'T CHECK TO SEE IF THE FILM WAS ROTATING IN THE ROLLY THINGY....hahahahahahaha...and so all my beautiful pictures are in my head and not on print...

*sigh*

photography-undigitalized(if that's even a word)

sooooo after all my venting yesterday, i finally decided to take up a new hobby and since i cannot afford to buy a new digital camera with all the lovely features that a photographer should have (not those little 6 megapixel ones-i have one and i find it completely useless in taking nice photos coz the zoom is crap) on my student allowance-that should be over in like another couple weeks...yaaay...i decided to inherit my dad's canon AV-1 without his knowledge ofcourse....hahahaahahaha...he would shoot me if he realised am taking pictures of glasses and the clouds and biskit (my dog whom he loathes coz she's an attention seeker and hence WHINES ALL THE TIME) and seeing as how he's a BP patient errrrmmm the temper goes abit haywire....

soooo back to the camera....now for those of your that dunno a canon AV-1 lemme try and describe it to u..it's a box shape gadget, with two lenses (u havta take one out to use the other obviously) and lots and lots and lots of buttons-none of which opens where u load the film...it took me like 3 hours to figure that out and even then-i hadta go online to find out how...apparently u havta pull one of the rolly things...hahahahah...

after i felt like the awesomeness of the fool that i am and finished laughing at myself, i loaded the film-errrrmmmm it took me another like hour to do that coz i couldn't make it stay on the teeth-clearly coz i didn't read the instruction that said, PUT THE EDGE OF THE FILM INTO ONE OF THE SLOTS....errrmmm yeah so after I slotted it in...EURREEEEEKKKKAAAAA..IT STAYED...

then i tried clicking....ehhhhhmmm NOTHING....and the online manual said if the film is loaded properly it should click...sooo iwent back and tried everything but it wouldn't click....frustating huh....but wittle jazzywazzy hadn't read again-it requires a battery that had clearly passed away in all the years that my dad hasn't used his camera....

so i called up my pal and asked where i could get it-he gave me an idea...and mother reckoned the battery was proli like a gazzillion shillings by now coz the camera is quite ancient...feeling a deep sense of loss in my pocket i went to the camera shop and it wasnt too bad-250 bob....so now i had a battery and a loaded camera and VOILA...it clicked....hahahahahahahaha...

so now i had 36 exposures to practise with...i started on tasneem my friend....taking her pix when she wasn't realising...the expressions were beautiful-i just dunno if i actually managed to get the right coz eeehhhmmmmm it's not digital...so i havta like finish the 36 pix take it to get developed and then only can i see the oh so lovely pictures that i have taken...

not to mention the beautiful couple portrait that Khalil and Heena posed for...i'm hoping i didn't take one of their heads off....hahahahahahaha...

oh yeah and my dog who just look at me like am crazy coz every time she's doing something foolish am busy clicking away...ad this morning i decided to take pictures of flowers and trees (trying to be very artistic and using different positions and stuff) lets see how that works out....lmaooo...i some how think that it's gonna be one comical ride thru this phase of non-digitalised photography :)

what women want :)

i know this is cliche but hell it's true

1) a woman wants a guy who will always look at her the way he did the 1st time he saw her, dont ever change the way you look at her coz she will begin to suspect you for nothing...

2) treat her like you would on the first date...not all the time most definitely....but remind her she is special to you...

3) tell her you love her

4) tell her she is the best thing to ever happen to you

5) buy her a single rose

6) once in a while, open the door for her

7) listen to her without giving your opinion and only give one when she asks for it

8) never say you dont know when it comes to the relationship...you either wanna be with her or u dont...the i dunno makes her feel she isnt good enough for you and that u have some one else...even if u dont

9) grab her hand in public...it makes her feel wanted and she'll wanna be with you forever...refuse and she will feel like you're embarrassed of her

10) kiss her on the cheek randomly

11) whisper in her ear that she is the only one for you

12) hug her

13) cuddle jsut for fun

14) talk to her...she needs to know that you know that she is there for you whenever u need it..

15) tell her if ur having a problem...she will listen...

16) let her be part of your life without u feeling that she is intruding in your life...she only wants to be part of it coz it's yours..

17) be her best friend....most of the time, her friends aint really her friends thats why she want to talk to you all the time :)

18) believe her over any one else

19) stand up for her no matter what...even if she is wrong...then tell her when you're alone why she was wrong...

20) dont expect her to know how you're feeling...chances are she expects you to tell her if there's something wrong

21) be nice...dont get cocky with her...she needs to know you gonna be with her no matter what

22) dont talk to other women behind her back....tell her about it...she will appreciate it more and trust you more

23) dont rub her past in her face

24) accept her for who she is

25) tell her you love her

26)tell her you love her

27) tell her you love her

28) send her a msg or call her to say how much you miss her...and wanna spend time with her..

29) be excited to be with her

30) tell her you love her

from the other partner's perspective (mostly the woman)

sooo am writing this without a topic first...i'll think of the topic later :)

so i have realised that there is one thing i do when am stressed...its called FIGHT....and i fight with those closest to me...it's kinda sad coz uhhhmmm well that doesnt really help my situation but well i only know one other thing that helps relieve the stress and i cant get that whenever i want ;) know what i mean...

so the other day, i had an exam and it was taking forever and i started getting edgy...so i called your's truly to fight with him...oh my...i actually said i called you to fight with u...ehhhmm he wasnt impressed and well he refused to fight with me..needless to say i probably shouldn't have said that because later on that night-ehhhmmm there was a huuuugggeeee fight that am not happy about at all...

so now i think i know what i wanna write about...why is it assumed that when two ppl are in a relationship, they have to know everything about each other??? or that they have to know what to say and what not to say?? i mean i dont live with you and when you're with me, you may not be yourself until like the 2nd year or so...so whatever i have known of u is clearly not the right thing...

and also why do u think am in your head to know what's wrong or what your mood is coz of your day-if u dont wanna talk to me coz u had a bad day TELL ME SOOOOO....i'll leave u alone...and wait for u to call me...actually i won't..coz i'm a woman...i wanna know why u had a bad day...so if u dont wanna talk say I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF MOODS RIGHT NOW PLEASE CAN WE TALK LATER...i'm sure any woman would understand that..

make time for me...jsut coz i'm your gf now doesn't mean that u stop buying me flowers and taking me out to dinner...it doesnt mean u gotta stop making an effort....and it aint about how much shit you've taken from me...are we now measuring the amount that we are giving and taking in the relationship...i mean really....

the worst thing you can do to a woman is tell her how much you're doing for her..in the end she's gonna shut you out...and thats the truth coz she gonna feel that you are feeling obligated to do to things....and you will eventually lose her not because she doesnt love you, but because she feels you don't feel the same about her...

emotions....emotions and more emotions.....pffffffffff (for the guys from the girls)

ok so me being a woman i go through these hormonal changes and they cause loadsa emotional changes and these usually happen around the same time...it's kinda weird but well it happens...and well at these times i dont want some one to tell me what i wanna hear i want some one to tell me the truth....and most times PEOPLE DON'T TELL YOU THE TRUTH...

yeah i get really insecure....duh the reason i'm getting insecure is you're a really hot and awesome guy and i'm lucky to have u so uhmmm any girl would wanna have u...i just wanna hear u say that ur mine mine and only mine...that can't be so hard to keep saying can it???

i wanna hear how beautiful i am and how u never look at other women....and if u do...tell me and then say something like YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME...i'll feel so much better...

tell me how u miss me and can't live without me...these are things i need to hear mid relationship and not in the beginning of the relationship...clearly the relationship is still new-obviously u cant live without me...i excite your life....but i need to  know that when things are tough and boring on our relationship u still gonna be able to say u can't live without me...

don't say i love u all the time but say it when u feel that i need to hear it....I go through emotions ALL THE TIME incase u haven't noticed....and i need to hear it alot of the times coz it makees me all giddy and happy inside...but dont over do it....

when i feel frumpy...dont lie and say i dont look bad....accentuate my good sides...say positive things about me...it'll help...

when i'm venting...i'm just simply venting...i don't need for you to think of a solution....i mean think about how many of us hate each other but when u see us we're the best of friends???? it's called FEMALE...the need to bond with the other of my species is necessary for some reason coz they're more emotionally charged and you, the man, is logically charged....sometimes i just want emotion...

when am venting...DON'T GIVE ME YOUR OPINION...i just wanna be heard out...say hmmm, huh, are u ok? , do u feel better, how can i help?...things like that are nice...show that u care...don't say....I THINK YOU SHOULD, WHY DONT U JUST DO THIS etc etc....

when i talk...am not directing my anger at you....i'm just venting coz i dunno how am feeling and i usually let things out by talking....so please don't take it to heart....it's not your fault or your problem...i just wanna talk and i trust u the most so i feel that i can just talk without u taking it personally...

so men....learn what to say, when to say and how to say things....i wish there was some man out there who could tell me how to do them things with their fellow species....

distance, relationships and why they don't work but should....

this one was requested for...

i've had loadsa distance relationships...infact i'm in one right now....ok so we not that far away but we still apart and don't see each other as much as we would like to but it's working (for once) and i think my bf has the key concept of distance relationships....it's called less communication....loooool

his theory is the more you talk to each other, the more u miss each other and the more u start looking for that affection....and ur partner ain't around so wellllll u get it else where init???

i mean sure u miss each other and stuff but hey if u constantly remind yourself about it then whaddya expect????

don't get me wrong...we talk.....i share all my bad things and good things and exciting things with him but as i have learned over the past couple months-there's a time and place and opportunity for everything....and my bf and i-TOTAL OPPOSITES...i love to talk and dance and jump like an excited monkey and he just loves to chill out, be quiet and calm and relaxed....atleast i can talk as much as i want without beiing interrupted...u know how annoying that can be with all the chatter and jabber i got in my head?? tee hee hee

back to his theory....at first i thought he's just being crazy and stuff...i mean really now....and then i realised that guys just can't give a girl the kinda attention that he usually does coz well then they become all soft in the head....i have come to realise that when it comes to relationships MEN ARE NINNYS...and they dont want the others to know about it so they become all macho and gangster...they feel more for you then u can ever imagine but are just scared of showing it coz then we know we got them and treat them like shit...and yeah u know that's the truth..WHEN A GIRL KNOWS SHE GOT A GUY NINNY SHE ABUSES THAT RIGHT AND TRAMPLES ALL OVER HIS HEART...

so when ur apart abd he doesn't call or text you...it's not that he doesn't miss u-COZ HONEY YOU KNOW HE DOES-it's that he doesn't wanna over miss you coz then it becomes unbearable for him and he ends up over eating and as much as we love teddies you'll dump his ass so fast coz he grew fat :p :p

so stop being a drama queen and just understand HE'A A MAN..they're apparently supposed to be MACHO.....

and that's the reason long distance doesn't work.....

relationships, marriages, divorces and the mistress :/ (for the girls )

After being in a relationship a year plus i watched the movie he;s just not that into you again...the first time i watched it i was heart broken and didnt really understand what was going on...

tha movie is the best relationship movie i've ever seen...it's not the typical movie we see where every one has a happy ending...there's jerks and divas and husbands and girlfriends and even mistresses...a typical real life situation...

lets take a look at the married couples...there are about 4....out of which 3 we see the husbands would rather watch games and drink beer rather than help around in the house and stuff....typical men gestures....(jerks)

then there's the one marriage that ends in divorce in the end...lets analyse that one abit shall we...

there's a woman who after college gives the guy an ultimatum lets get married or we break up....he goes and gets married to her...and no they don't live happily ever after they actually get divorced...from the start of the movie we see there's no sexual tension between them, hence he gets attracted to the other woman...it's not coz she's giving him anything different...she's just accepting him for who he is...which is what most of us do initially in a relationship..when we first meet some one we're so happy to just be in their company and love them for who they are and then all of a sudden one day.....whhhhaaaaammmmm....we not happy with then coz they don't our hands in public, don't reply to our texts, don't pick up our calls etc etc etc...

sooooo lets go to the holding hands in public...most guys just dont wanna look pussy whipped...u forget they have an imagie to uphold....the MACHO IMAGE.....he's not married to you and well lets just say guys have this tendency to talk...not ur guy..i mean other guys....they'll tease the crap outta him just coz he was seen holding your hand..and guys aren't like gals...they take these things personally....u make fun of him and shit hits the fan....

the reason they don't reply to your texts constantly is coz they're busy at work...it doesn't mean they're not missing you but seriously gal-if you keep texting him how is he gonna get time to miss you??? or how is he gonna get any kind of work done if he's constantly on the phone with u??? think logically and not from the way you think relationships should be please.....

also if you keep calling him every 5 mins how do expect him to know when u need to talk to him or when you just calling to say sup-literally every  hour...and i'm a culprit...i would talk to my bf so much during the day-literally saying absolutely nothing that i think it started pissing him off...he has a mother to ask him where he is and what he is doing...don't become his second mother-ur his wife/gf so behave that way.....

you don't havta talk to each other every day....especially if you're dating....i mean in the initial stages yeah it was good fun talking for hours and hour and hours on the phone....that's coz u had so much to learn about each other..you had so much to talk about....now that you know each other why do u still havta talk for hours on end when there's nothing to really talk about...lets be honest-that's what causes fights....so u dont talk for a couple of days-u wont die-infact you'll get closer and have more to talk about....

and so back to the movie again....the wifey has insecurities about her husband dying o lung cancer coz her father who was a smoker died of lung cancer....so her husband does it behind her back....here's another problem we have as women...don't let ur insecurities ruin your presnt and probable future relationship....and this one goes for men too....if a girl cheated on you in the past it doesn't mean that ur new gf will do the same....by constantly nagging the guy/girl to change ur taking them from who they are to who u want them to be....and this causes one person to be uncomfortable and the other to be unhappy.....and this is where the big phrase comes in YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME....

oh boy you just made your guy so mad u don't wanna even know....he's the one who's there for you no matter what....through thick and thin..come what may...he would even fight for you....and then you say he doesn't understand you....he feels like crap and whats the first thing he does???? look for another person who makes him feel good about himself again-usually another woman...

so yeah i am blaming the girl for making the guy cheat on her and all the other crap he does to you... if you don't set your boundaries how do u expect him to know them???

and another thing-don't expect a guy to know what u want from him....TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT....they not hormonal emotional fools like us who will keep pestering...if something is bugging you tell him so....coz he ain't gonna ask you again and again....

oh yeah and another point to note-don't ask you girlfriends what they think of your relationship-they'll put crap in your head and cause even more fights.....they're girlssssss for God's sake.....what more do they know then u????

and not every guy is the same so don't classify them that way....each has their own individualism and well we need to get that from them....

Happy Courting ;)

sex, fake orgasms and little fingers :D :D

sooooo we all usually know the concept of sex and orgasms and how apparently women can fake orgasms-i've never really been able to do that so mine are real...

back to the little fingers....and no i'm not talking about the man sex organ ie the penis...i'm actually talking about fingers....

this is actually one of my friend's stories....and i got her total permission to write as long as there are no names....

u know how gals usually take a longer time to get turned on compared to guys init..so the guy hasta like work really hard to kinda like get her switched on....hahahaha...well this dude decided to try the whole finger story but she was already turned on....i dunno how he didnt know that...i mean it's abit obvious when a gal is horny...she just wants to jump the bones outta you,....hehehehe

so he works his little fingers around her apparent clit-clearly the wrong spot coz well she felt nada...infact she actually got turned off...but the guy didnt just get it....

the next day she comes walking in like she's got a tampon up the wrong end(literally) and wincing in pain...and i was like WTF happened to you??? and she says..."it's an injury"...and am like "huh" and she's like....."the fool injured me with his little fingers" hahahahahahahahahaha...

the dude kept going and going coz he wanted her to have the most perfect orgasm and she had gone so dry that the finger and labia had managed to cause friction between each other hance making my pal walk like a penguin :)

moral of the story-GUYS ASK THE GIRLS WHAT SHE LIKES....trust me....she will never hide it from you.....and the same for girls....

you can't have perfect sex and orgams just by jumping each other...you gotta talk about it...jeez don't u ppl read on these things???

girls and farts :D :D :D

why is it that girls can't fart around people??? are we not people as well???

i mean if i eat too much you say i'm gonna get fat, if i eat only a salad you complain to the guy that i make you feel uncomfortable

and what's with the whole eating from my plate...you got your own plate dude....or is that a subtle way of telling me i've eaten too much???

so i was having a conversation with one of my new friends...and i told him i'd eaten too much...he couldn't stop laughing...coz apparently girls watch their weight or something...am not exessively fat....i just love my food a whole lot more than i love shopping...i can't be bothered to go into a ship and try on 20,000 kinds of dresses jsut for the fun of it....nothing ever fits or they always make me seem like what am not...yeah sure every girl like to live a fantasy but gimme a bbq and coke any time and we'll be best friends :D

and why can i not fart within the vicinity of friends...i am human too u know....and why is in inappropriate for me to loosen my belt and sit coz i feel like it...i mean guys roam around half nude all the time...i'm just loosening my belt honestly....

society today has made it so difficult for girls to survive normally...u gotta be thin (although i knw for a fact guys hate that) to be called sexy....how is that so when most of the guys always say they want something to grab onto and not something that pokes them...i mean rrreeeaaaaallllyyyyy nowwwwww...

why do we let society create our norms??? why can a girl not do half the things she wants to do??? just coz she got tits and ass??? pplz....we didnt used to wear clothes before...its called evolution....coz eve apparently gave adam the apple or something of that sort...which makes me wonder-is that why guys have that adam's apple thingi around their neck??? coz the apple got stuck half way????

oh weelllll...i'm gonna try and fart in public and see what the response is....i already loosen my belt when i eat too much :D :D

bills, liars and phone calls ;)

am sure all of us have that one friend who just doesn't wanna pay up for anything...i mean really not pay up....he wants to hang out and do everything but in the end he says "sory guys am broke"....dude u inititated the plan in the first place....

we got this one friend in our group...he's a totally awesome guy but gosh he want to do everything and not pay for anything....oh yeah and he creates loadsa fights between ppl toooo....

so this is about him,...

we go for bowling...he doesn't take out cash, we go for a movie-its 600bob for a ticket he takes out 50bob...and then on top of that he hasta have like a gazillion hot dogs, coke and popcorn....hmmmmmm...

or we'd all go out to dinner....and he'll eat the most expensive meal and when the bill comes we can't find him any where coz well he's apparently on the phone with the gf....dude really...every time the bill is about to come u disappear on your fone..i think we're onto your game now....

so am  not in town and he goes out with the gang....they actually waited an hour for him to come back and when he didn't-they went to go get him...hahahahahahaha....it's like he hides behind the plants or something to see when the bill is paid coz i swear that's when his fone call ends ALL THE TIME....

and then he makes up stories about each other and tells us to make us fight and stop talking to each other....it's kinda sad coz after we realised that...errrrmmmmm yeeeeaaaaahhhhh..

oh and not to forget that when u need him the most-HE'S NEVER THERE.....he apparently forgot that he was supposed to pick me up on new years and then goes on to tell the rest of the ppls that i was sick...WTTTFFFFFFFFF????? and another time, he refused to pick up a call at 2am when a pal really needed him to.....i mean really now.....just coz the boy got a gf doesn't mean u leave him stranded in the middle of the road.....i think he feels negelcted coz well every one in the group kinda got hitched but then so did he...only its a long distance...u should hear how he tries to incite ppl against each other....wooooowwww....it's actually entertaining...kinda like a very very very hormonal woman....

kinda makes us feel like a booty call....and he only calls when we got money...rest of the month God only knows where he is....

well the trick with these kinda ppl....don't take them any where and if they initiate the plan-tell them you're broke and see how fast they disappear...apparently now he got a new set of friends.....good luck to them-u gonna need it more than u know :)

the facebooks, blackberry and twitters :p

soooooooo we all surely have one of the above....i know I for one am addicted to facebook...and now probably blogging as much as i wanna keep it to one a day....loool...

I think the facebooks, blackberrys and twitters have changed our lives dramatically-literally...the amount of drama that people have coz of them is unbelievable...

relationships break, friendships break...for God's sake even families break...all coz you're caught talking to the person you weren't supposed to be talking to...

Don't get me wrong...i met some awesomely wornderful ppl online....but i met some really nasty one's too..

I joined fb out of courtesy for a friend....sona...she made me coz she wanted to be able to keep in touch with me and now i'm hooked....

as cliche as this may sound.....I keep wanting to deactivate my FB account but I just can't bring myself to so it...coz how am i gonna know what's going on then??? i mean even without a tv i get soccer scores, cricket scores, views on wars around the world, obama stories, holiday updates and lets not forget what every one is thinking.....hahahaha..yup the drama....you can see what every one is feeling, who is fighting with who, who is dating the other and who is cheating on the other...i'm a sucker for the drama....teehee heeeee....don't get me wrong....i do't thrive on it..i just like to keep myself entertained....

I have one friend-nyambura....her updates keep me totally happy coz she's one of the best ppl i know...i've known her since i was like 12 and as much as she doesn't know it she taught me alot at that age...she taught me howta be comfortable with myself and who i was as a person and stand with my hand held high...we lost touch and through fb we reconnected...

the other one is kimberley...my friend from high school...i searched for her for almost 4 years before i found her again and when i did it was like we never parted...she's now a mommy to a beautiful son and totally happy and i just sit back in amazement coz she was the biggest tom boy ever...i mean she taught me howta fight huge ass gals who would bully me....hahahahahaha...good old days....

then there was the horrible vicky...a facebook add..holy all he wanted was booty...claims of wanting a relationship...the usual dude story....i was soooo mad that if i see him again i'd wanna smash his face in with a brick and reconstruct his face for him for free...but then i got some interesting inside info that made me laugh...he's 30 and is a momma's boy and does absolutely nothing for himself...who would wana be with a guy like that init???? i mean reeeaaaaaallllyyyyyyy.....i dont wanna be with a guy who drinks himself silly and passes out in the loooooo.....eeeewwwwwwww.....totally not on my list any more...looool

Zunz...a totally awesome add...we became friends through fb..never met but we totally click...i dont havta talk to him every day but we get on so well that it's unbelievable....and he's actually good looking...hehehehehehe....he got a gf now and totally happy as well

Sam....wooooowwww...this dude was a gift from heaven above...i think i was going through my roughest patch when we became friends on fb....i dunno if its possible but he held my hand(virtually) and made me think outta the box and taught me howta use a spade when i was getting it rather than using a fork.....i still follow lots of what he told me in my life today...i havent met him either-he reckons it'll spoil the moments we've had/....guess it's hard coz he's in another country as well....tee hee hee..

Shaz...he totally makes me smile....random add on fb....became friends then best friends then boy friend....it was and is totally off the hook...my angel's smiled down n me and have never stopped since :)

so these were the few that i decided to write about....it's kinda like u get a family from the people on your friend's list without even realising....as strange as it may sound....

but it's not always that way is it???? i mean...what if ur bf caught u talking to another guy through your inbox or on blackberry chat??? does that warrant a break up??? or does it warrant you to defend yourself??? as much as technology has changed our way of life does it really mean that we base our relationships on whats happening in the virtual world??? If i'm married why would i want to start an illegitimate virtual relationship which i may probably get caught??? or why should i be insecure coz my gf is talking to another guy on fb/blackberry or wherever she has an account....it doesnt mean she's gonna cheat on u...dufus...she's allowed to have a life tooo you know....

so as much we are socialising online...lets keep our pants zipped, our thoughts in our heads and learn to trust man kind once again coz not every one is evil.....there are genuine ppl who just wanna be friends :) ooorrrrr...we could all just stop being technology freaks and start to socialize in real time rather than virtually :p :p

rock my boat and throw you off it ;)

sooooo here goes...i've never really done this and i thought i'd give it a shot..i've always thought i'd be an interesting writer...

i got a girl friend who totally rocks my boat-sometimes even throws me off coz she major issues with herself i decided to write a little bit...

she totally does things that she doesn't wanna coz it'll make every one around her happy...have u ever et a person wo is sooooo innocent that you can't believe they're for real??? plus she can't do anything on her own....

why is it so hard to go watch a movie by yourself or go to the park alone...or decide today is the day i'm making me time and just sit under the stars by myself with whatever i is that i wanna do under the stars be it just stare or run or sleep or drink wine...

why are people always aiming to please another and in the process making themselves unhappy  coz that ain't who they are??

go for the cooking class u wanted to-you'll meet new people :) get the manicure done-it works when the indicators don't ;) buy that little dress-how else will they know you got such awesome legs???
dont be scared to talk-u might just have the cure for cancer...

so i ask my friend....what is it that u want...she is 30 years after all ....her answer was.......i just want him back....this is a dude who make you feel ontop of the world and down in the dumps all at one time just coz he can't deal with the fact that you are an independant beautiful woman whom he made dependant on him and now that u getting your groove back on (excuse the pun) he decides you cheating on him.....maaaannn i curse the day of mobile phones and black berry's....ever noticed how high the rate of break ups are these days????

so i tell her...okay you want him backkk...then don't smother him....and what does she do....she actually goes to call him to say...I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO YOU ANY MORE.....what sorta woman does that??? knowing that he's kinda abit sensitive to that kinda stuff....he broke up with her.....ehhhhmmmm....i'm in for loadsa fone calls 2nyt and they definitely won't be from my bf.... *sigh*

I know this ain't right(talking about my friend and all)...but i figured alot of us girls actually do that...it's always gotta be me and my man...what happened to me and my gals??? you totally forget that he fell in love with you coz of who you were and not what he wants you to be...if u were the crazy table dancer-yeah sure tone it down abit coz ur hooked up but still be the crazy one...and if you were the book worm then talk abit more but still have the love for books...

the dude needs his space...he doesn't need to know everytime u pee, poo, fart, sneeze or walk to the shop..he wants to know the interesting things that make you who u are :)

if he's the type that doesn't want to have the life that you used to have or it becomes all about him  that's when you gotta say HONEY YOU ROCK MY BOAT AND I'M GONNA THROW YOU OFF IT :D